Another boring story
Characters
The artist
His wife
Artists’ friend
The spectator
His wife
The bartender
Others
First scene/Scene I
The artist, his wife, and his friend sitting in a bar.
A. Art is unavoidable because art is the only offspring of our compulsion to bear witness.
F. Right?
A. There’s no life without art. Producing art is the responsibility of nations. Babies are trained to do art.
F. You are talking about football, dear.
A. Idiot! Art is sought in human mines. Art is blessing of those who are privileged in the course of natural selection. Hence, my desire to make art. Clear?
F. Extremely unclear. Not clear at all.
W.o.A. Absolutely perplexing.
A. Ok, but I am the decision-making organ, hence I decide.
F. You are an organ alright, but decisions have to be collective.
W.o.A. Be more polite, my dear, more polite.
A. Come on now, what’s the problem? I’ll employ someone for a few months. I’ll bother him as the maximum. What’s the problem here?
W.o.A. This is stupid.
A. Such experiments today are done by thousand. Let’s hope is not someone else doing the same thing because they can denounce us for such a thing.
F. I don’t understand.
A. I will take someone and I will subdue him. Artistically I mean.
F. How do you mean take?
A. I will hire someone to follow the artistic oeuvre that I will produce. I will communicate (push) an artistic oeuvre into him. I have thought about this at length.
W.o.A. This is a very stupid thing to do. He never got this money thing.
F. Artistic what?
A. I have not thought thoroughly. But it will be at least as important as the spectator.
F. The work just like the spectator? What are you talking about?
A. We will need something easy. Something easy to discover, something boring. He will just need to understand it. We need someone somewhat rational so that he understands, possibly all the time. I will pay him.
F. I am the one.
A. No.
S. Why not?
W.o.A. Really, why not, take him. He is sympathetic (she laughs, touches the friend)
A. He will need to spend a long time with us. I don’t trust you, my dear.
W.o.A. This will only solidify our love! (Continues to touch and laugh with the friend as if making out).
A. Stiff things can easily crack, my dear.
...
Scene II
In the middle of the scene is a sofa. The spectator and his wife sit with plates in their hands, discussing.
S. I can’t understand what’s your problem with the salt?
W.o.S. There is enough salt.
S. I don’t know what to say.
W.o.S. About what?
S. What do you mean about what?
W.o.S. Ok, let’s not go on with this.
S. Ok. (he waits a bit and then speaks again) Do you know what happened today? I met this guy who said he was an artist. He had some money and wanted (to hire and pay) a spectator, to tell him about his art. His work of art. A particular work of art. All the time. You get it?
W.o.S. I have to understand something already?
S. All the time. You have to understand all the time? Bitch. (He gets very aggressive immediately creating an unexpected effect)
W.o.S. I also thought about cooking something else, but you have to help more. You haven’t bought toilet paper again. (She behaves like she has not noticed his reaction)
S. This guy. The artist wanted me to understand him all the time. All the time. He would pay for it.
W.o.S. He was serious.
S. Yeah. I was watching the play. He was wearing nice clothes, but seemed a bit careless. Unshaved. Tall, long hair.
W.o.S. No, I don’t know.
S. You have to know all the time! All the time! You get it, bitch. (He repeats his out-of-context aggressive explosion.)
W.o.S. (Without noticing his aggressiveness) More salt you think. Do you know how harmful salt is? Heart attack. You can have a heart attack from salt. Your father died of a heart attack.
S. Shut up. The artist I was saying.
W.o.S. Yeah, yeah.
S. Tall. He could talk.
W.o.S. Yeah, yeah.
S. Unshaved, long hair. Prose, you know?
W.o.S. He was writing prose?
S. Shut up.
W.o.S. Can you get to the point please.
S. You might know him.
W.o.S. How was he?
S. Wearing nice clothes, but seemed a bit careless. Unshaven. Tall, long hair.
W.o.S. Yeah I know him. Although wait. No, no, I don’t know him.
S. Are you making fun of me?
W.o.S. Are you normal?
S. I am perfectly normal. Do you want to discuss statistics?
W.o.S. Ok, the artist.
S. A donkey my dear. Without a doubt a donkey. It was cold, and then became very hot. I don’t know. I am still not sure about it.
W.oS. its work, no.
S. Work this kind of work is not very usual.
W.o.S. What are you talking about? All my friends go to see that TV show on Thursday afternoon for 500 Leks. I shall go to. Are you coming?
S. Are you kidding?
W.o.S. 500 Leks. Crisis, unemployment, rent, food.
S. Ok ok, I got it. But manhood gets compromised in these kinds of relation.
W.o.S. Manhood? The boss is a prehistoric animal that doesn't processes what he devours. He will shit it back intact.
S. have you smoked something?
W.o.S. You can give it a try, if you don’t like it you can always quit, he is of course an ass.
Scene III
The artist waits for a bit alone in the scene. He scratches his nose, his ass, takes grandiose postures, insults.
A. You are late.
S. Only three minutes.
A. Yes. But I was here five minutes ahead, and this makes you eight minutes late.
S. But my watch is...
A. (Interrupts him.) Stop, shut up. This shall not happen again. Do you get it?
S. I do. But it will happen some times.
A. Enough. We need to maintain seriousness.
S. Can’t agree more.
A. We have to avoid the danger of getting too close to each other.
S. This is for you to decide. I think there is nothing wrong with topping the working place with some human relations.
A. That is for me to decide, but you are right, we have to cultivate pleasure for work, it might be productive. I will goggle it. Anyhow, you have to applaud from time to time. I can understand it goes a bit over the top, but you have to.
S. Applaud?
A. Is it a problem?
Characters
The artist
His wife
Artists’ friend
The spectator
His wife
The bartender
Others
First scene/Scene I
The artist, his wife, and his friend sitting in a bar.
A. Art is unavoidable because art is the only offspring of our compulsion to bear witness.
F. Right?
A. There’s no life without art. Producing art is the responsibility of nations. Babies are trained to do art.
F. You are talking about football, dear.
A. Idiot! Art is sought in human mines. Art is blessing of those who are privileged in the course of natural selection. Hence, my desire to make art. Clear?
F. Extremely unclear. Not clear at all.
W.o.A. Absolutely perplexing.
A. Ok, but I am the decision-making organ, hence I decide.
F. You are an organ alright, but decisions have to be collective.
W.o.A. Be more polite, my dear, more polite.
A. Come on now, what’s the problem? I’ll employ someone for a few months. I’ll bother him as the maximum. What’s the problem here?
W.o.A. This is stupid.
A. Such experiments today are done by thousand. Let’s hope is not someone else doing the same thing because they can denounce us for such a thing.
F. I don’t understand.
A. I will take someone and I will subdue him. Artistically I mean.
F. How do you mean take?
A. I will hire someone to follow the artistic oeuvre that I will produce. I will communicate (push) an artistic oeuvre into him. I have thought about this at length.
W.o.A. This is a very stupid thing to do. He never got this money thing.
F. Artistic what?
A. I have not thought thoroughly. But it will be at least as important as the spectator.
F. The work just like the spectator? What are you talking about?
A. We will need something easy. Something easy to discover, something boring. He will just need to understand it. We need someone somewhat rational so that he understands, possibly all the time. I will pay him.
F. I am the one.
A. No.
S. Why not?
W.o.A. Really, why not, take him. He is sympathetic (she laughs, touches the friend)
A. He will need to spend a long time with us. I don’t trust you, my dear.
W.o.A. This will only solidify our love! (Continues to touch and laugh with the friend as if making out).
A. Stiff things can easily crack, my dear.
...
Scene II
In the middle of the scene is a sofa. The spectator and his wife sit with plates in their hands, discussing.
S. I can’t understand what’s your problem with the salt?
W.o.S. There is enough salt.
S. I don’t know what to say.
W.o.S. About what?
S. What do you mean about what?
W.o.S. Ok, let’s not go on with this.
S. Ok. (he waits a bit and then speaks again) Do you know what happened today? I met this guy who said he was an artist. He had some money and wanted (to hire and pay) a spectator, to tell him about his art. His work of art. A particular work of art. All the time. You get it?
W.o.S. I have to understand something already?
S. All the time. You have to understand all the time? Bitch. (He gets very aggressive immediately creating an unexpected effect)
W.o.S. I also thought about cooking something else, but you have to help more. You haven’t bought toilet paper again. (She behaves like she has not noticed his reaction)
S. This guy. The artist wanted me to understand him all the time. All the time. He would pay for it.
W.o.S. He was serious.
S. Yeah. I was watching the play. He was wearing nice clothes, but seemed a bit careless. Unshaved. Tall, long hair.
W.o.S. No, I don’t know.
S. You have to know all the time! All the time! You get it, bitch. (He repeats his out-of-context aggressive explosion.)
W.o.S. (Without noticing his aggressiveness) More salt you think. Do you know how harmful salt is? Heart attack. You can have a heart attack from salt. Your father died of a heart attack.
S. Shut up. The artist I was saying.
W.o.S. Yeah, yeah.
S. Tall. He could talk.
W.o.S. Yeah, yeah.
S. Unshaved, long hair. Prose, you know?
W.o.S. He was writing prose?
S. Shut up.
W.o.S. Can you get to the point please.
S. You might know him.
W.o.S. How was he?
S. Wearing nice clothes, but seemed a bit careless. Unshaven. Tall, long hair.
W.o.S. Yeah I know him. Although wait. No, no, I don’t know him.
S. Are you making fun of me?
W.o.S. Are you normal?
S. I am perfectly normal. Do you want to discuss statistics?
W.o.S. Ok, the artist.
S. A donkey my dear. Without a doubt a donkey. It was cold, and then became very hot. I don’t know. I am still not sure about it.
W.oS. its work, no.
S. Work this kind of work is not very usual.
W.o.S. What are you talking about? All my friends go to see that TV show on Thursday afternoon for 500 Leks. I shall go to. Are you coming?
S. Are you kidding?
W.o.S. 500 Leks. Crisis, unemployment, rent, food.
S. Ok ok, I got it. But manhood gets compromised in these kinds of relation.
W.o.S. Manhood? The boss is a prehistoric animal that doesn't processes what he devours. He will shit it back intact.
S. have you smoked something?
W.o.S. You can give it a try, if you don’t like it you can always quit, he is of course an ass.
Scene III
The artist waits for a bit alone in the scene. He scratches his nose, his ass, takes grandiose postures, insults.
A. You are late.
S. Only three minutes.
A. Yes. But I was here five minutes ahead, and this makes you eight minutes late.
S. But my watch is...
A. (Interrupts him.) Stop, shut up. This shall not happen again. Do you get it?
S. I do. But it will happen some times.
A. Enough. We need to maintain seriousness.
S. Can’t agree more.
A. We have to avoid the danger of getting too close to each other.
S. This is for you to decide. I think there is nothing wrong with topping the working place with some human relations.
A. That is for me to decide, but you are right, we have to cultivate pleasure for work, it might be productive. I will goggle it. Anyhow, you have to applaud from time to time. I can understand it goes a bit over the top, but you have to.
S. Applaud?
A. Is it a problem?
